I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
