The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Randomize