I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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