So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
