two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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