people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
