Are we in a gay sports bar?
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
