I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
