i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
