one two three fourrrrnication!
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I yelled at your uterus for you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
