K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Sorry about my life...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
