Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
i would one night stand the shit outta him
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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