areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
oh god the rape fog is back!
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
