glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
