I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
