they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize
