when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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