This dress was meant to end up on your floor
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize