My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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