my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
