You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
