Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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