Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
