I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
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