I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
ttyl tear gas
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
