when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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