i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
