I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You may now shotgun with the bride
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
