Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
