Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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