Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize