And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
