Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
