Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
