Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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