Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
