her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
