Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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