Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
