well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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