You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
