See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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