dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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