so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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