if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
