I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
