We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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