Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize