READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
