Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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