We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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