Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
