Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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