Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
