Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
two words...techno handjob
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
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