I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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