she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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