we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
