Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
In other news, I just burned my penis
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
