How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Randomize
