she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
