It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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