Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
