Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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